The First Crisis
by purplegirl761
Summary: The first crisis when you're on a new job can be a bit unsettling. Even if you're Shego.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Just something that came to me one day. Besides, I figured we need a Drakken-and-Shego story on here that's _not_ a romance. (I can't be the only one who sees them as having more of a brother/sister relationship, can I?)

I'm new here, so please be gentle; no flames.

Rating: PG. (No real violence; some blood, but nothing graphic)

"And with this shampoo, your hair, too, can look just like this model's!"

_Yeah, right. And I__'__m the queen of England._

Flip.

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..."

_Barf._

Flip.

"You get the be-ee-est of both worlds..."

_Double barf._

Flip.

"And our latest exercise machine is guaranteed to make you lose weight twice as fast as the competitors!"

Shego snorted and glanced at the empty donut box shoved all the way down to the bottom of the trash can next to her - all that remained after _his _breakfast. If someone could figure out a way to package her employer's metabolism, they'd be filthy, stinking rich.

Flip.

"...this latest gizmo will make life so much easier for you and the people you care about!"

Shego snorted again and flipped the TV right off. Right. The people she cared about. Not that it was a very long list. Only four people were on it besides herself, and she would never admit to anyone who those four people were.

She sighed and rearranged herself on the couch. Nothing good was on TV. She'd already filed her nails and read the latest issue of _Villains _magazine three times. She couldn't really think of anything else to do, since Drakken had shooed her out of his lab, claiming that genius worked best in silence. He was working on his latest evil plan - something about hypnotizing the lions at the zoo to follow his orders and become his own personal attack army.

Mmm-hmm. Genius.

This was the same guy who, back when she had first started working for him a couple of months ago, had thought it was perfectly acceptable to call a person at 3:38 AM to explain the great idea for world domination he'd just had. If she hadn't still been half-asleep and not wanting to wake up any further, she _so _would have gone over and hurt him. As it was, she had given him a severe tongue-lashing and hung up.

The next time he'd called, _he__'__d _been half-asleep and wailing out things that she was pretty sure were the ends of nightmares. Lately she'd taken to just setting her phone on vibrate and leaving it out in the kitchen before she went to bed.

_Ooh, maybe I could count the cracks in the ceiling. That would be _fun_. _

"Shego!"

She sat bolt upright on the couch and sighed again. That wasn't a _come-here-so-I-can-gloat-to-you _"Shego," it was an _I-hurt-myself _"Shego."

Good grief, he was such a _baby _when he was hurt.

Shego went over to the door and opened it a crack to holler back. "Cut, scratch, or bruise?"

"C-cut!"

Shego rolled her eyes so far she nearly felt them disappear into her head. Stomping over to the medicine closet, she yanked it open and dodged the box of Band-Aids that fell out and nearly landed on her foot.

She picked them up and stared at them. Dinosaur Band-Aids. Cute.

"Shego, there's blood!" came a yelp from inside the lab.

"Imagine that," she retorted.

"A l-l-lot of it." His voice was quivering on the edge of tears, and Shego felt her neck prickle. _Why _couldn't he just act like an adult for once?

"Fine, then I'll bring two Band-Aids." She yanked a fistful out of the box, shoved the box back onto the shelf, and flung open the door to the lab.

Shego prided herself on not letting anything phase her. After all, growing up with four brothers - four beyond-obnoxious brothers - and now working for Drakken - well, she'd like to think that about nothing would surprise her anymore.

But the sight that met her eyes made her heart skip more than a couple of beats.

Oh, _crud_.

Evidently the astonished look on her face scared Drakken, because he started to bawl. Shego came unfrozen and was at his side in an instant, staring at him in disbelief.

"What did you _do_?" she shrieked. "Lop your whole nose off?"

Drakken shook his head, choppy black ponytail nearly slapping her in the face. "No, it's st-still here."

Not that she could really _tell_, since he had now plastered his hands over the entire left side of his face.

"What happened?" Shego demanded. Her voice went tighter, because from what she'd seen of that cut before he'd covered it with his hands, it was _definitely _going to need more than two Band-Aids. She felt a tiny bit out of her element, and she did _not _like that feeling at _all_.

Drakken sobbed a long string of noise that didn't sound like words at all. His nose was starting to run now, too, and he awkwardly brought one arm up to wipe it on his sleeve without taking his hands from his cheek.

Shego hissed through her teeth in frustration. "In English, please."

Drakken sniffed several times, took a couple wobbly breaths, and blurted out, "I was working on the Feline Hypnotism Ray, and my ch-cheek itched, so I scr-scratched it."

Shego felt one eyebrow go up. "When was the last time you cut your nails, Dr. D?"

"See, that's the th-thing. I kind of accidentally scratched myself with the hand that was holding the Feline Hypnotism Ray Blade - Cutter - Thing." Those last couple words strung together, as his voice got higher and more panicked.

She didn't know exactly what a Feline Hypnotism Ray Blade-Cutter-Thing _did_, but judging from the name - and the blood she could see from between Drakken's fingers - it was pretty sharp. Shego's stomach clenched for the first time in a long, long time.

She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. No. She had to be the one in control. She was _always _the one in control. That was the way it worked. The more freaked-out Drakken got, the calmer Shego got. And Drakken was definitely on the verge of a major freak-out. His eyes were going wild with fear.

"Okay, okay, okay," Shego muttered to herself. She massaged her already-throbbing temples. "You - go get in the bathtub."

Drakken blinked at her. "Shego, this is hardly the time for a bath!"

"No. No. No." She felt her jaw clench down hard. "Get in the bathtub - don't run any water. Stay fully clothed. Just go and sit in there so you don't stain anything."

His one big eyebrow went up. "Stain?"

"With blood, Einstein."

The instant the words were out of her mouth, Shego wanted to bite her tongue off. Drakken's face crumpled into a wad of sheer terror. "Shego!" he wailed. "Am I going to die?"

"Get. In. The. Bathtub." She stabbed a finger in the direction of the bathroom, and Drakken skittered off like a puppy who'd just been scolded.

Shego went back over to the medicine closet and rummaged through it, looking for anything big. "Dr. D?" she called.

Several snuffled sobs answered her.

"Do you have any of those big square tan bandages?"

One of the answering wails sounded like, "No."

"Why _not_?" Shego balled her hands into fists. Right now, she was about ready to melt something. Or slice it. Just as long as it got some of that awful tension off of her chest.

"Well, you see, those tan bandages are supposed to be skin-colored, but that doesn't exactly work for me anymore, so I have to buy those pre-school kind with all the bright colors to get the blue ones....of course, I also get yellow and pink and green, which I can't do anything with...you can use the green ones, if you want...." That was all in about one breath.

Shego snatched up the box of bright-colored Band-Aids and made a mental note to slap some over Drakken's _mouth_. Barging into the bathroom, she found him curled up in the bathtub, knees up to his chest, hands still pressed to his left cheek. Tears were running down his right cheek and dropping off his chin onto the top of that weird coat-thing he wore.

She brandished the box of Band-Aids. "Let me see it."

"NO!" Drakken hollered, as if she'd just asked to decapitate him. He plastered his hands even tighter. "Y-you c-c-can't."

Shego felt a snarl creeping up her throat. "Look, pal," she said through tight teeth. "You have two choices here. You can let me look at that, or -" She held one hand up and made it glow - "I can render you unconscious, and _then _look at it." She didn't add that between the bleeding and the bawling, he was probably about on the edge of consciousness anyway.

Drakken's hands fell away. "Okay."

Shego couldn't hold back a smirk. "I had a feeling you'd see it my way."

She leaned in to examine his face, and Drakken pulled away. "Don't touch it!" he squawked.

"I'm not _gonna _touch it!" she snapped. "Just let me look at it!"

"Don't touch," he whimpered again, but he stayed still.

Yep. That was going to need more than two Band-Aids. A trip to the emergency room was more like it. Shego sucked in her breath between her teeth before she could stop herself.

That got Drakken crying anew. "Shego, I'm gonna die!"

"No." Shego made her voice go flat and practical. "No, no, you are _not _going to die."

He glared at her through his tears. "How do you know?"

"Look, I have - " She stopped herself just in time. Good grief, she'd been about to say what she'd always said to all the little kids she'd ever baby-sat when they demanded to know how she knew that their skinned-up knees weren't fatal:

_I have four brothers._

Nope. That information wasn't going to be shared with anyone. Not anymore.

Drakken's forehead twisted. "You have what?"

"Baby-sitting experience," she finished smoothly. "I promise you, you aren't gonna die."

Drakken heaved a sigh so heavy, Shego thought he'd deflate before her eyes. "Fine. But if I _do _die, I'm docking your paycheck!"

Durr.

"Fine by me," Shego muttered. "Now, get outta there, would you? I'm going to go get the car started."

"Car?" Drakken's voice climbed dangerously close to a range only dogs could hear as he shakily climbed out of the bathtub. "Where are we going?"

"To the hospital."

"_Hospital_?" He stomped one too-small-for-him foot on the tile floor. "Shego, you said I wouldn't die!"

"You won't," she flung back over her shoulder. "But that obviously needs stitches. We're going to the emergency room."

Drakken let out a full-out wail. Shego forced an eye-roll over her growing concern and stomped outside the lair to her new car.

She froze. Her _new _car.

Suddenly, she felt as if she had a little angel on one shoulder and a little devil on the other. "Oh, you are _so _not letting him get in your cute new little red sports car when he's bleeding all over the place, are you?" demanded Bad Shego.

"Who cares? He's hurt!" retorted Good Shego.

As was usually the case with her, she listened to them both. She dashed back into the lair, past Drakken, and back into the bathroom, where she grabbed a huge, dingy towel.

By the time he got outside, taking slow, unsteady steps, Shego had spread the towel over the entire backseat. There. "Get in," she told Drakken.

He did, buckling his seatbelt and then laying all the way down. Shego let herself into the front seat, turned the key in the ignition, and took off.

*******

Shego discovered something very quickly. It wasn't easy to drive with someone crying like a baby in the backseat - not to mention screaming whenever a tear trickled down into the cut. "Look," she finally called back. "Would you just shut up already?"

Drakken's voice dropped from a wail to a whimper. By now, he had the hiccups, and she was starting to feel kind of sorry for him - even if he _was _stupid enough to slice himself open with a Blade-Cutter-Thing he'd forgotten he had in his hand.

Halfway there, though, he stirred again. "Shego," he moaned, voice fuzzy. "I don't feel very well."

If he threw up in her car, so help her, she _would _have his head.

Shego dodged a squirrel scurrying across the road. "You picked a heck of a time to inform me you get carsick, pal."

"I _don__'__t_!" Drakken protested. "It's my head - it feels all light and dizzy."

Oh, _double _crud. Where was that stupid hospital anyway? "All right, don't panic," she called back over her shoulder, fully aware that that was pretty much like telling a bird not to fly. "Close your eyes. Don't move. Think pleasant thoughts."

Pleasant thoughts? What, she was Peter Pan now?

Behind her, she heard Drakken mutter, "Puppies...cookies...world domination..."

She never thought she'd be so glad to see the doors to the Emergency Room.

**********

Author's note: In an interview with the creators and writers of Kim Possible, the question was brought up, "How did Drakken get his scar?" One of them responded that "I always imagined he had an itch and forgot he was holding something sharp..."

Voila, this....


	2. Part 2

Conclusion.

Drakken is not the ideal patient. ;)

*******

Shego set her shoulders and marched straight through those doors. Drakken, on the other hand, stumbled in and would have plowed right into a wall if she hadn't grabbed him by the back of his coat. "Stay with me, Doc," she whispered.

"Okay," Drakken muttered back. His voice sounded sleepy, and it worried her, obnoxiously enough. Maybe that list of people she cared about besides herself was up to five now.

But there was no time to think about that now - not that she even wanted to. Shego stalked up to the desk and shoved aside the papers the receptionist was looking at. "Hi," she said in her best cavity-inducing voice. "I need one of those nice little emergency physicians - _NOW_."

The receptionist peered at her curiously over the tops of her glasses. "Not for me," Shego added with a not-so-patient sigh. "For him."

She pointed in the general direction of Drakken, who was by now curled up in a chair, shaking like a wet dog.

The receptionist's eyes turned soft, and Shego knew she was about to start fussing. Why, she wondered, did people get like that over her annoying employer? It was one of the few things she'd never been able to figure out.

"Is he sick?" the receptionist asked.

Shego shook her head. "Needs stitches."

Drakken sobbed his agreement.

After that, things sped up into a whirl. Only once she was sitting in a tiny room with Drakken lying in a bed and a couple of doctors in white coats squinting at his face did things start to clear. Finally, it wasn't resting solely on her shoulders anymore.

"So - can you fix it?" Drakken asked.

The female doctor chuckled. "Of course we can fix it," she said. "That's what we're here for." She dug into her pocket and pulled out a tiny sucker. "Lollipop?"

Drakken shook his head and squinched up his face, and Shego heard herself sigh again. If Drakken didn't immediately pounce on a sweet and devour it, he must be feeling pretty bad.

"I will, say, though," the male doctor added, "it's a good thing your daughter got you here when she did. That's a pretty nasty cut."

_Daughter_? Shego felt herself go rigid against the stiff plastic chair. That was _nasty_.

Drakken blinked up at the doctor. She could almost hear the gears grinding sl-ow-lllly in his mind. "I don't have a daughter," he said finally, voice shaky with confusion.

The doctor waved a hand in Shego's direction. "This lovely young lady over here?"

She allowed him only half a smile. _Flattery doesn't get you far, dude._

Drakken gave the doctor a completely blank look, and then shook his head rapidly. "Oh, Shego. No, she's not my daughter. She's my...." He trailed off, and shot Shego a questioning look. She shrugged. Whatever she was to him, she wasn't sure there was a word for it.

"Girlfriend?" the doctor suggested. His eyebrows shot up disapprovingly.

Okay, that was _beyond_ nasty.

Drakken's own eyebrow dipped nearly down to his nose. "No," he answered. "She's just my friend."

The look he gave Shego clearly said, _Did I do it right?_

She wasn't sure "friend" was the right word, but she let it go. It beat "daughter" and especially "girlfriend" by a mile.

"Okay, then," the female doctor butted in. "Let's get you all fixed up, Mr..." She turned curious eyes on Drakken.

Shego gave him a look that she hoped said _DON'T USE YOUR VILLAIN NAME, YOU MORON!!!!!_

Drakken caught his tongue between his teeth and then licked his lips awkwardly. "Lipsky," he said finally. "Drew Lipsky."

Shego slapped a hand over her mouth. Good grief, and she thought she'd come up with some strange aliases in her life of crime. The man was creative if nothing else.

"Well, then, Mr. Lipsky," the girl doctor said. "We're just going to give you a little shot..."

_Uh-oh. Here come the fireworks._

Sure enough, Drakken's eyes went wild. "Shot? Will it hurt?"

"Not even a quarter as much as I'm betting your face hurts right now," the doctor answered smoothly. She dusted her hands together. "And it'll make your face _stop_ hurting so we can stitch you right up."

Drakken's forehead went into rows, and Shego could almost hear him weighing that in his mind. "Okay," he said finally. He darted his eyes over to Shego. "I don't suppose I could squeeze your hand?"

She activated her plasma glow. "What do _you_ think?"

The male doctor gave her an odd look. Oh, right. She'd forgotten how strange that must look to the unacquainted.

"You can squeeze mine," the girl doctor said.

Go figure that.

All the shot got was a mini-yelp, though Drakken whimpered like a Chihuahua though the stitches. And after they were done with that, the doctors exchanged sort of worried looks.

"What?" Drakken bleated.

"Well, let's just say something in your skin is a little...different that most people's," Mr. Doctor began.

Drakken gave a weak snort. "Ya think?"

Shego felt her mouth twitch. Drakken trying to be sarcastic? It was too pitiful.

"The point is," Mrs. Doctor added, slapping one of the elusive tan square bandages on Drakken's cheek, "that may not heal properly."

His eyes grew saucer-wide. "You mean, it'll keep bleeding and bleeding forever and forever and I'll never be able to rule the -"

Shego slapped a hand over his mouth before he could get any farther. No telling how the doctors would react to that piece of information.

"Oh, no." Mrs. Doctor shook her head. "At worst, it'll scar. I just thought you should know."

Drakken's eyes drooped at the corners, and Shego knew what he was thinking. If it did scar, it would be long and jagged and nasty - and right there on his face for the world to see. She couldn't help it; she felt a tiny pang for him.

And with that, he collapsed back against the bed. "Shego," he whimpered. "Can we go home now?"

"Fine by me."

Once Drakken was out of the bed, he turned to Mrs. Doctor. "Do I get a sticker?"

Shego groaned right out loud.

Mrs. Doctor, though, laughed and peeled off a Fearless Ferret sticker and slapped it on Drakken's coat. "There you go, hon," she said.

He left the room, beaming. Shego, on the other hand, turned to the doctors. "You were pretty good with him," she admitted.

Mrs. Doctor kept chuckling. "I used to be a pediatrician," she explained. "I'm good with kids."

"And fortyish guys who aren't playing with a full deck," Shego muttered as she left.

She found Drakken halfway down the hall, hanging onto the wall with one hand and his forehead with the other. "Head still feel weird?" she asked.

Drakken shook the head in question. "Nope," he answered, in a voice that was a lot wobblier than he probably wanted it to be. "I'm a _manly_ evil genius, Shego. I can take it." With that, he snapped his head up, straightened his shoulders, and took several marching steps.

And promptly got sick in the waiting room trash can.

She didn't say a word.

*********

_This has been the longest day of my life, so far._ She pulled up at a stoplight and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. Oh, well, at least it was almost time for her to go home.

"That could have gone a little worse, but I don't see how," Drakken mumbled from the backseat.

Shego shrugged. "You could have wet your pants, too, while you were at it."

"She-_go_!" His voice spiraled up. "You're not helping!"

"Well, sorry," she shot back.

She heard Drakken sigh. "But now I'm probably going to have a _scar_. Right there on my _face_. And it'll be _ugly_."

His voice was going up a decibel at the end of every sentence, and Shego needed to put a stop to that right now, before she had a wreck. "Looks don't matter, Dr. D.," she reminded him.

He snorted. "Easy for you to say. You're pretty."

"Yeah, thanks," she replied in a deadpan voice. "But, really, who cares? The people who didn't care that you're blue and freaky-looking aren't going to care if you have a scar."

"Do _you _care?"

Shego turned a corner. "Look, Doc, this may come as a surprise to you, but I didn't come to work with you for your stunning good looks."

"You didn't?" In the rearview mirror, she saw Drakken's mouth twitching at the corners, the way hers did. He cupped a hand around his mouth and added in a stage-whisper, "That was sarcasm."

She pulled into the evil-lair driveway. "I know sarcasm when I hear it, pal."

"You invented it or something," Drakken muttered drowsily.

It felt good to laugh.

"Oh, by the way," Shego said as she climbed out of the car. "Nice fake name you gave them in the emergency room."

There was an extremely awkward silence, which Drakken broke by coughing.

She felt her eyebrows go up. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"_Drew_ - _Lipsky_?"

"Tell anyone and you're fired," Drakken added, wobbling out of the car.

Shego pretended to zip her lips and throw away the key.

And stored it away in her brain for just the right moment, should she ever need to blackmail the guy.

*****

_Hey, I bet I could ask him to pay me extra for today._ Shego plucked a granola bar from the pantry and a water bottle from the refrigerator and tucked them into a small bag for the drive home.

Now _that_ would be making something good come out of this whole crazy day. She burst into the lab, mouth already forming the words, "Dr. D, you _so_ owe me for this -"

And then she stopped. Drakken was sprawled out on the couch, fast asleep.

Shego was about to lean over and shake him to wake him up. But then he sighed in his sleep and made the spikes of hair on his forehead flutter - the way the Wegos used to do when they were little. _Really_ little, like maybe three or four.

And so she decided to just let him sleep. She'd get her money tomorrow.


End file.
